December 2011
Since it’s new years eve and all thought I’d write about my year looking back. Personally this has been the worst year of my life without a doubt, the majority of this year I was beyond miserable as most of you who’ve been following me long enough will know. I’m also on medication and probably will be for a quite a while. I’m not dying though so can’t complain aha! I spent the first half of the year trying to get over a break up and failing awfully as well as being on a course I hated and generally a lot of things in my life were changing and it sucked. I then finished my course in May and decided I wasn’t going back, so for about 5 months I did absolutely nothing and had no money so started to stay in a lot and felt like I was really drifting from everyone and I lost basically all of my socialableness (totally a word) and confidence which isn’t the best because people now think I’m quiet and I think over the past year is the first time anyones ever described me as that. As well a few other things.
However! All of this has made me realise a lot about myself and appreciate things so much more. I’ve grown up so much and changed but for the better. I’m still working on getting my confidence back but I’m sure I’ll get there eventually. This year made me really determand to do a lot of things and rather than being miserable trying to get over a break up we’re kinda working things out which is so much better. Everything seems to be going perfectly at the moment, we’re not together but I think/hope we’re getting there. I told my close friends all about the medication I’m on and they’re all really been there for me and we see each other a lot more than we did over those few months. I was super scared to grow up but now I’m getting used to everyone having their own lives but still making time for each other. Other good things to come from this year is me actually getting onto a photography course and applying for a sound uni that I’ll hopefully be happy at (if I get in) and becoming a lot closer with my family, well parents anyway. So Christmas this year was just the best end to a shitty year, I’m so happy at the moment and hopefully will continue to be in 2012.
I know people say they’re going to change for a new year but I’m not. I started to change the things I didn’t like about my life months ago and now they’re just slowly falling into place so I just plan to carry on as I am. :)